Signs from Birds Appearing on my Path

Over the past week, I have found three dead birds on my path, right in the middle of where I was walking. I saw the first one as I pulled in our driveway, right next to our other car, and my heart was so sad, guessing it had flown into the window. I went and carefully picked her up and talked to her, even though I imagine her spirit was elsewhere already. I gently walked her over to a wooded area in our yard and placed her down on the ground and told her I loved her.

To be that close to such a beautiful little being, to hold her in my hands and feel the weight of her body, the softness of her feathers, the miracle of her, a wild one who was untamed, was amazing and heartbreaking. In that moment, I knew I would see three dead birds in the near future, although I hoped my intuition was wrong. 

It was not, and a couple days later, I was on a walk, and there was the second one, right in front of me on the road near a swamp, a small brown bird. I carefully picked him up, felt his soft little body in my hands, looked closely and felt sadness, awe and wonder, again. I felt a strong sense to pay attention to this quiet, tender moment of connection, that it was very important and special. I walked him to a spot in a wooded area next to a tree and laid him there and said “Goodbye, little one.”

Then last night, I was coming home from another long walk as the sun was setting and right in front of our door, there was this little black, white and red bird. A downy woodpecker this time.

Her family have been messengers for me for many years now. The little spotted feathers that have appeared and guided me since I started my difficult healing journey 9 years ago came from them. I have found many feathers over the years from different birds, each one feeling special, but the spotted ones feel extra meaningful when I find them…or when they find me.

As I held her in my hands, the sadness and awe washed through me and I whispered, “I’m sorry.” Then I heard, “Death is simply a part of life, dear” in a loving voice that wasn’t numb or robotic like those words can often feel to me, it felt full of deep wisdom and care. To be that close to death, to hold it in my hands, felt sacred, unexpected and reverent. Not to brush it aside, hide it away, hurry it along but to just be in its presence and honor that, felt like an incredible gift that changed me. 

By picking her up, connecting with her and finding a soft place for her body to complete its life cycle here, I felt like I was doing something in return for the many gifts and guidance she and her family have brought to me. As I set her down on the earth in the tall grass, I whispered, “Thank you.”

(A spotted downy woodpecker feather I found on our deck in a moment when I was processing some deep and heavy emotions last week and felt lonely. )

(A small altar space on my art table in my bedroom that always includes feathers.)

(A spotted downy woodpecker feather and a bluejay feather I found in the woods while teaching at Sacred Makers Retreat in New Hampshire in September 2022. I was in a time of deep transition, starting massage therapy school the week I got home.)

(A blue jay feather I found on Madeline Island, Wisconsin in 2015, the day my former partner and I decided to get married.)